All you really need to know before checking this out is that I tried to rank the 'hawks 25 greatest moments, but I'm not gonna lie...It devolved into ridiculousness. JUST BASK IN IT, OKAY? JUST BASK.
(UM LOL, SRS PICSPAM IS SRS.)
Okay, seriously? Mash-Up was prime Puck-'hawk season. Note how he's sporting the perfect degree of scalp stubble and how the mohawk is possibly outshining Puck's own Brooding Betty-ness. GOD, THE EMOTIVE POWER OF THAT LANDING STRIP OF LOLHAIR. It's staggering.
OMG, equal parts repulsive and ~captivating. the contrast between his cleanly shaven head and the mohawk grosses me out more than anything, BUT I SWEAR, I CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT. Such a powerful image. Although, I gotta say, Finn's hair's flippy action is stealing the show here. The Puck-'hawk is totes jealous.
Listen, I only added this because LOL WEED CUPCAKES, Britt-Britt!, Agronskyyyy, and UM PUCKLES, I TOTES HAVE YOUR SWEATSHIRT.
YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT 95% OF HIS THUMBS UP'S LOLFACTOR COMES FROM THE 'HAWK'S SHEER EXISTENCE. Noah Puckerman, you're such a ridiculous human being. DON'T EVER CHANGE.
THESE CAPS. I would say what's going on below the 'hawk is mainly why it made the list, but WHATEVER MAN. (Apparently watching Glee in slow motion whilst capping makes scenes kind of sock you in the gut. I DON'T KNOW WHY, OKAY. All I'm saying is don't knock it 'til you've tried it.)
Profile shots of the 'hawk: automatic top 25.
OKAY LOL FINE I ADMIT IT, THIS PIC WAS INCLUDED FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY, AND IT WASN'T THE DUDE'S HAIR.
A little 'tude never hurts.
Am I the only one who by the end of the first 13, didn't want to even imagine a Puck without his mohawk? Okay LOL LIE, WAIT, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a mohawk in basically every fic I've written. BUT STILL, IRL, IT HURTS ME TO THINK OF. And seeing Salling without it is so...LOLBIZARRE? It's a ~part of him, you guys.
SHALOM. Someone needs to put the silhouette of this onto a T-shirt.
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T EVEN. Screw the mohawk (
BLASPHEMY, it is perfection), look at his face. He looks like someone famous here, doesn't he? Maybe Justin Theroux? Kind of? OR AM I JUST LOLCRAZY?
HOLD UP, STOP THE MF'IN PRESSES, Y'ALL. This is single-handedly my favorite Puck cap ever, no joke. His expression! His eyesssssss! THE 'HAWK. I am entirely beside myself. Hahahaaaaa, I don't know why it's at number 15 then...Arbitrary list is arbitrary.
OMG, most lolariously overplayed scene in the history of Puck, but still A+. His HAY GURL HAY, the umbrella in his drink, LOL NIPPLE RING, the way his sunglasses are perched on the peak of his mohawk...It's all so awful and ridiculous and amazing.
YOU GUYSSSSS, the 'hawk was eighty trillion kinds of crazy endearing in thisssssss. And by 'hawk I mean HIS FAAAAACE. This is only the beginning okay. Brace your ovaries for number six. (Consider yourselves warned.)
GRUMBLE GRUMBLE WHY DON'T GIRLS LIKE ME??? Maybe because you have a landing strip on your head and you're the biggest asshole in McKinley? OMG LOL JK DON'T CRY PLZ LET'S GET DRUNK ON WINECOOLERS AN I'LL LET YOU TOUCH MY BOOBS, 'KAY?
NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY.
Not only is the 'hawk in actual perfect form...His face.
SOMETIMES THIS DOUCHEBAG IS MADE OF SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS AND PUPPIES AND KITTENS THAT TUMBLE AROUND ON FRESHLY MOWED GRASS.
Man, Tanaka-San srsly makes Puck hot in the pants, doesn't he? Wtvs, I'm okay with it because A) LOL FOREVER, B) LOOK AT THIS ASSHOLE. JUST LOOK AT HIM. I want to kiss him on the mouth, and by mouth I mean-- OH HEY, is it weird I find the little dent in the back of the 'hawk really adorbs? UM LOL WHUT, I do have a life, I swear.
And it's called Glee
YOU GUYS, PUCK TOTES PRIMPED THE 'HAWK FOR HOURS. I mean, for his acting debut as Factory Worker #2? WHO COULD BLAME HIM?
WAIT, I DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS. BOTTOM LEFT-HAND CORNER! BOTTOM LEFT-HAND CORNER!
LOL, SHOUT OUT TO une_fille FOR THIS. As she so astutely pointed out, the 'hawk has such personality in this. Look at it's little tips! So ~feisty. And Puck totes trimmed the scalp stubble for the big day!
OMG LOL IS THIS THE SAME PUCK? Someone give him a sandwich :( Whatever I don't even care, he exists and if there was an Olympic event in mohawk styling, he would have gotten the gold for this 'do right here. (He finally got to the point where he didn't knick himself when he tried to shave it; a big accomplishment for the Puckerone. OMG LOL JUST IMAGINE THE FIRST DAY HE CAME IN WITH IT. You know he had Finn do it for him and almost had to go to the Emergency Room from all the blood he lost with the fourth knick.)
LOOK AT IT, YOU GUYS. LOOK AT IT. The days when Puck actually decides to shower instead of just dousing himself with Axe ten minutes before third period are the best.
Oy, how is this not number one? OH YEAH--
"It would be pretty awesome if it came out with a mohawk."
BRB OVARIES EXPLODING.
THIS SCENE IS MADE OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND PURE IN THE WORLD. And yes, it was number one for the sole reason of Quinn cracking an egg on the 'hawk. WHATEVER, YOU KNOW YOU AGREE.
LISTEN, THE MOHAWK REFUSES TO CONFORM TO THIS STUPID STRUCTURE. TIME TO KICK IT INTO HIGH GEAR:
All I'm saying is Puck may pretend like he doesn't know what Brokeback Mountain is but he's totally seen it from start to finish. AND DIDN'T HATE IT.
DISCONNECT THE PHONE SO NOBODY KNOW-OW-OWS. If you don't think the best part of this sequence (other than A) Puck's existence, B) pelvic thrusts, C) the 'hawk) is the jazz hands that go down right after the last cap, I don't know if we should really be friends.
THE 'HAWK IN IT'S ~ELEMENT.
Oh Puck-'hawk. So ~regal. So ~majestic. Truly, it's proudest moment.
OH MAH GAH. Everything about his face/hair/existence, I can't even. LOOK AT THE PEAK IN THAT FIRST CAP. How much gel do you think it took to keep that bad boy in place?!
I KNOW, OKAY? It's a tragedy these caps didn't make the top 25. Feel free to pelt rotting fruit at me, I deserve it.
OMG LOLING FOREVER. How does this bafoon exist? But more importantly, WHY DO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH?
BUENOS NACHOS MR. SCHUE. I personally endorse the pairing of navy blue sweatshirts with the Puck-'hawk. Sorry, Kurt. I know it sucks to get chucked in a dumpster, but at least you got to be within inches of it.
GRATUITOUS EYE CANDY. I HAVE NO SHAME.
OMG LOL THAT FIRST CAP CRACKS MY SHIT UP. The last one, I just want to hug. (And by hug, I mean hump. LOL WHUT?)
Okayyyy, clearly the useless commentary needs to end because HAHA I'M RUNNING OUT OF IT? Also, how is it midnight? DEAR SCHOOL, LOL PLZ DON'T FAIL ME TWO WEEKS FROM GRADUATION? 'KAY THX RLY APPRECIATE IT. LOVE, ME. As for you all? Bask.
PS UM LOL PLEASE DON'T STEAL MY SHIT. If you actually knew how long it took me to do this, you'd probably be embarassed for me and take pity. Also, please don't re-post them on Tumblr; I'll be putting them up in the tumblelog une_fille and I run so you can reblog them from there. Feel free to add us if you're interested: puckyou.